A rub on cream designed to help students who have chronic difficulty completing their homework.
How does it work?
Absorbs through the skin to create a sense of motivation, energy, focus, and stamina plus a desire to do school work!
What is the strongest benefit of my product to the customer?
Gets parents and teachers off your back.
What are the features and benefits of my product?
You'll be able to finish your homework faster (you'll have more time for other things)
Helps you increase your GPA (better grades = better shot at getting into a respectable college or getting a decent job)
Boosts self-confidence (that helps everything)
Other kids will admire you and think you're cool or attractive (you might more friends or get a study date!)
Non-greasy formula (feels good on your skin).
Non-staining (no tell-tale signs on your clothes or furniture).
All organic, non-toxic ingredients (safe for you and the planet).
Economy size tube at a reasonable price (great for kids on a low-budget).
5 Fragrances: bubble gum, mystic rain, iron-man, pop-star, unscented (variety and appeal for boys, girls, younger kids, teens, and those with respiratory sensitivities).
What's my tagline? (Memorable phrase)
Zip-O!...Zip right through your homework - get parents and teachers off your back.
What's my call to action?
Call 1-800-555-ZipO now for your free sample. Product also available at these fine stores: Wal-mart, Walgreens, Pick-N-Save, Sentry, Piggly-Wiggly, Bath and Body Works.
Scene/Script: *Note - orange, underlined words = spelling words from Lesson 9
Scene 1:
Twelve year old Jeff is laying on his back on his bedroom carpet playing with his PSP. The TV is on in the background. His brother is sitting on the top bunk bed, throwing popcorn at him. Jeff doesn't seem to notice. There is an open math book, a blank piece of loose-leaf paper, and a pencil laying next to him on the floor.
Narrator: "Are you tired of this?"
Mom:(whining, nagging voice) Jeffery? Jeffery?! Are you done with your homework? Jeffery James Bronson! You put down that video game and finish your homework right this moment! Jeffery?! Did you hear me? It's unwiseto entirelydisobey your mother, no matter how much you dislikedoing homework! School should be your primaryconcern right now! No dinner until all of your late assignments are done. And you're NOT going out with your friends tonight either!
Little Brother:(laughs evilly and beans Jeff in the head with a piece of popcorn)
Jeff:(flops his arms out to the side and sighs heavily)
Scene 2:
Next morning, Jeff is slumped in his desk, during math class. From the neck down, you see what appears to be a very uptight teacher with his arms folded, standing ominously over him.
Teacher:(stern voice) "So you declinedto do your homework again Mr. Bronson? This is the fourth time this week you have come unprepared. May I inquireabout how you plan to pass this class if you don't do your assignments? Well, let me give you some advice. You better start showing some responsibility on the 'homework horizon', Mister!" (teacher's voice fades away into the background as Jeff's thinking voice comes to the front)
Jeff:(solemnly) "Blah, blah, blah. I know, I know. I just can't get myself motivated to do this stupid homework. Now Mr. Radcliffe is probably going to call my parents and they'll be inclinedto ground me for life!"
Freeze Background: Narrator enters scene with Zip-O! Cream and hands bottle to Jeff.
Jeff opens the bottle, puts a small amount of lotion in his hand, rubs some on his arms, neck, cheeks (like aftershave). He sniffs his wrist, grins and nods as if it's got a good smell.
Narrator: "Wouldn't you rather ZIP right through your homework, boost your confidence and raise your GPA? Get parents and teachers off your back with Zip-O! the AMAZING rub on cream that absorbs right into your skin to create a greater sense of motivation, energy, focus, and stamina plus a desireto do school work!
"Zip-O! is a non-greasy, non-staining formula, so it feels great on your skin
and leaves no tell-tale signs on your clothes or mom's precious furniture."
"And Zip-O! is made from all organic, non-toxic ingredients. It's safe for you and the planet."
Jeff:(with excitement) "It says here that it's available in five unbelievable fragrances: Iron-Man, Rock-Star, Bubble Gum, Mystic Rain, and Unscented, so you can find one that's just right for you!"
"It also comes in economy size at a reasonable price, which is great for kids like me who are on a low-budget."
Scene 3:
Next day, same classroom, same boy, but this time he's grinning in a calm, cool, collected way as he hands his math assignment to his teacher. You see a big red "100%" written at the top of his paper. As his teacher stands next to him, his body language is looking much more cheerful and relaxed.
Teacher:(glowing, praising voice) "Jeffery, great work! You've really turned things around for yourself. Way to go!"
Jeff:(nodding head coolly) "Thanks Mrs. Radcliff." (sly grin)
Other male student:(leans across the aisle and whispers) "Yo, J! Righteous! Now your parents will let you come to the movies with us tonight.
Jeff:(nods again, confidently)
Cute female student:(sitting behind Jeff, privately leaning forward): "Hey J, you smell awesome! And you're getting such good grades lately...I really admirethat! Maybe you could help me with my homework?"
Jeff:(nods one more time silently, confidently..then looks directly at the audience/camera and winks with a smile)
Jeff: "Zip-O!...Zip right through your homework - get parents and teachers off your back."
Narrator: "Call 1-800-555-ZipO now to receive your free sample. Product also available at these fine stores: Wal-mart, Walgreens, Pick-N-Save, Sentry, Piggly-Wiggly, and Bath and Body Works."
Zip-O! (Magical Healing Cream for Students Who Don't Do Their Homework)
by Mrs. Chartier
Final Draft: -Prewriting Plan / Brainstorming:
Helps you increase your GPA (better grades = better shot at getting into a respectable college or getting a decent job)
Boosts self-confidence (that helps everything)
Other kids will admire you and think you're cool or attractive (you might more friends or get a study date!)
Non-greasy formula (feels good on your skin).
Non-staining (no tell-tale signs on your clothes or furniture).
All organic, non-toxic ingredients (safe for you and the planet).
Economy size tube at a reasonable price (great for kids on a low-budget).
5 Fragrances: bubble gum, mystic rain, iron-man, pop-star, unscented (variety and appeal for boys, girls, younger kids, teens, and those with respiratory sensitivities).
Scene/Script:
*Note - orange, underlined words = spelling words from Lesson 9
Twelve year old Jeff is laying on his back on his bedroom carpet playing with his PSP. The TV is on in the background. His brother is sitting on the top bunk bed, throwing popcorn at him. Jeff doesn't seem to notice. There is an open math book, a blank piece of loose-leaf paper, and a pencil laying next to him on the floor.
Mom: (whining, nagging voice) Jeffery? Jeffery?! Are you done with your homework? Jeffery James Bronson! You put down that video game and finish your homework right this moment! Jeffery?! Did you hear me? It's unwise to entirely disobey your mother, no matter how much you dislike doing homework! School should be your primary concern right now! No dinner until all of your late assignments are done. And you're NOT going out with your friends tonight either!
Little Brother: (laughs evilly and beans Jeff in the head with a piece of popcorn)
Jeff: (flops his arms out to the side and sighs heavily)
Next morning, Jeff is slumped in his desk, during math class. From the neck down, you see what appears to be a very uptight teacher with his arms folded, standing ominously over him.
Jeff opens the bottle, puts a small amount of lotion in his hand, rubs some on his arms, neck, cheeks (like aftershave). He sniffs his wrist, grins and nods as if it's got a good smell.
"Zip-O! is a non-greasy, non-staining formula, so it feels great on your skin
and leaves no tell-tale signs on your clothes or mom's precious furniture."
"And Zip-O! is made from all organic, non-toxic ingredients. It's safe for you and the planet."
Jeff: (with excitement) "It says here that it's available in five unbelievable fragrances: Iron-Man, Rock-Star, Bubble Gum, Mystic Rain, and Unscented, so you can find one that's just right for you!"
"It also comes in economy size at a reasonable price, which is great for kids like me who are on a low-budget."
Next day, same classroom, same boy, but this time he's grinning in a calm, cool, collected way as he hands his math assignment to his teacher. You see a big red "100%" written at the top of his paper. As his teacher stands next to him, his body language is looking much more cheerful and relaxed.
Jeff: (nodding head coolly) "Thanks Mrs. Radcliff." (sly grin)
Narrator: "Call 1-800-555-ZipO now to receive your free sample. Product also available at these fine stores: Wal-mart, Walgreens, Pick-N-Save, Sentry, Piggly-Wiggly, and Bath and Body Works."